Last Updated: July 15, 1999
Ideas for New Operas
(Facetiousness allowed; please address your complaints to the sources.)
Please send suggestions to: Lyle Neff, lneff@indiana.edu.
Respond to the individual contributors via their e-mail.
The serious (or at least half-way serious)
suggestions first:
The Chronicles of Narnia: [C.] S. Lewis would marvel
at the thought of his fantasies become opera, to apply another dimention
to the already thick environment. More operas need to be fantastical and
fun, i.e. The Magic Flute. The Narnia Chronicles, would also present the
idea of having a sequel. (Tom Garcia, alma@firstnethou.com)
Crime and Punishment, novel by Dostoyevsky (Mark R. Penney,
mpenney@law.harvard.edu)
Their Eyes Were Watching God, novel by Zora Neale Hurston (Naomi
Gurtz, omigurt@shore.net)
Swedish Opera: I think we need to see the development
of more Swedish opera (I'm of swedish descent so my bias is showing). I
think that any of Ingmar Bergman's film plots would make excellent operas!
Just think of all the betrayals and deaths set in some God forsaken hinterland!
I would especially love to see an opera with the scene of a man playing
chess with Death! (sundquist.maria@mgh.harvard.edu)
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (Vincent Kling, kling@alpha.lasalle.edu)
And now for the less-than-serious:
Abnorma (LN)
L'Affair de Presidente: The leader of a country
suffers from a sexual addition and is loved by his constituents but despised
by his political opponents and tolerated by his political allies. He is
accused of having an affair with a young intern and urging her to lie to
the Grand Inquisitor about an alleged sexual indiscretion with another
woman whose supporters comprise the leader's political opponents. Not sure
how it ends. (SpydrMiles@aol.com)
L'Affair de Presidente obviously ends with the president being
castrated by his enraged wife (a mezzo, of course); repenting his sins;
and reviving baroque opera in its purest form. He interrupts an aria in
the second act of "Alcina" (performed in La Scala) to beg his
wife's forgiveness in an unforgettable coloratura plea. She grants his
wish, and they are reconciled. (Kristen, <kcervantes@bazzirk.com>)
The Annulment of Figaro (LN)
The Common-Law Marriage of Figaro (LN)
Diana, Princess of Wales: Or at least as a dark
music theatre piece. I can see it going over really big at the Volksoper
in Vienna. (Robert W. Tudor, robnbobb@sprynet.com)
The Divorce of Figaro (LN)
Electraition: It is all About a frustrated female electrician
named Electra that get back at her Step-Mother by encouraging her merchent
marine brother Orest, that was hard at work for Nabisco delivering Oreos,just
returned home, to make her Step-Mother to pay all of the work she did for
her. To which her sister the florist, named after her favorite flower,
Chytamnestra struck a deal with FTD. Electra that was so happy that Orest
got rid of the evil Step-Mother for got that she was not grounded while
working on the Bilboard nouncing the Setp-Mother's death, dance a jig from
the shock and died. (Raymundo Morales, Raymundom@gnn.com)
Die Entfuhrung aus dem Serial (last word pronounced as in English):
in which soap opera characters are abducted against their will by the newscasters
in the neighboring studio. (Mark R. Penney, mpenney@law.harvard.edu)
Erfartung: The story of an unnamed woman wandering
along a forest path in search of medication that will relieve her flatulence.
Distraught after discovering that her lover has died from food poisoning,
she blames "the woman with the white arms" who cooked the meal.
Scratch-and-sniff participation guarantees audience enjoyment. (Author
unknown.)
Fleas:
In honor of the flea infestation at San Francisco Opera, Mark Burstein
(wrabbit@worldpassage.net)
sent the following:
[Here's] this canonical list from the San Francisco Opera. In the '94
season we were invaded by mites, scabies, and fleas and the entire company
had to be "dipped" at once. We (I'm a "super" in the
company) reacted by thinking of other Operas which could be performed in
this context, and several versions of this list were circulated. Here's
mine.
Ai itcha (Aida)
Amahl and the Mite Visitors
L'Amico Nits
The Ballad of Scabie Doe
Beatrice et Benedryl
Billy Bugg
The Bitten Bride
Boris Scratchemoff
Cappritchio
The Contamination of Faust
La In-Cortizone di Poppea
The Critters of Promethius
Dangerous Fleazones
The Death of Fleahopper
Dialogue of the Elimites
Don Pestquale
La Excema del Tito
The Exterminator of Seville
Falstaph
La Fanicootie del West, aka The Girl of the Golden Pest
The Fiery Tingle
La Flea du Regiment
Der Fleagender Hollander
Die! Fleatermites
Fleadelio
Flearodiade
La Forza del Infestino
Die Frau ohne Scratchen
Gianni Scratchy
Le Gnatzze de Figaro, aka The Marriage of Chiggaro
Gvtterdammermite
Die Harmonie der Welts
Herodirash
Les Hugenits
Die Inflamedermaus
Infection from the Seraglio
Itching Ointment (Eugene Onegin)
Itchomeneo
Katerina Itchmailova
Khovaitchina
A Little Mite Music
Liccia de Scratchermoor
Madama Butterflea
Manon Licescaut
Mefistopthefleas, aka Infestofele
The Merry Hives of Windsor
A Midsummer Mite's Cream
Die Mitestersinger von Nurnberg
The Mitescrawlonus Case
The Mitesiah
(N)itchin' in China
Oquello
Orpheus and Euriditchy
I Pagli-itchy
Pelleas et Meliceande
The Queen of Scabies
The Rash's Progress
Der Ring der Nibblybugs
Il Ritorno di Ulitchy in Patria
Ruslan and Scabmilla
Il Scabarro
Il Scabatore
The Scales of Hoffman
Scabieramide
The Scrape of Lucretia
Simon Buganegra
Sore Angelica
Tickhauser
Toesi fan Cootie
I Vespri Scabesiana
Die Walkueritch
and not to forget the Ballet "Nutscratcher"
Der Fliegende Fleishbrot: A Faustian tale in which
a vegetarian sailor is forced to sail from port to port on a raft made
out of meatloaf. (Rdobrick@aol.com)
Hi-Fidelio: An early autograph of Beethoven's where
he attempted a failed experiment with placing players and singers around
the opera hall. (Terry Kuny, txk@its.nlc.bnc.ca)
Italians in West Virginia (from a headline in some journal years
ago -- LN)
Madama Buttercup: obviously, identical with HMS
Pinafore, except that Buttercup commits hara-kiri at the end. (Mark R.
Penney, mpenney@law.harvard.edu)
Madame Butterworth: "he story of a black cook who falls
in love with an American ship captain, not realizing that he actually has
a lover in San Francisco who runs a four-star restaurant. She sacrifices
the approval of her family and her registry at Williams-Sonoma for him,
and has his child (famous chef Wolfgang Puck). In the end, he comes to
claim their child and return him to the United States to start a cooking
academy. Betrayed, she sings her moving aria 'Un bel sciroppo' and stabs
herself with a giant fork. (Vince Kniffin, <sertoli21@hotmail.com>)
Mary, Scot of Queens: The trials and tribulations
of a woman who emigrates from Scotland to a New York borough. (LN)
Die Meisterbrau: In which a singing competition is held, the
prize for which is a keg of cheap American beer. (Mark R. Penney, mpenney@law.harvard.edu)
Nabob: "A million Brazilian coffee plantation
workers are enslaved by a ruthless multinational corporation and long for
the greener days of life in the rainforest" (Terry Kuny, txk@its.nlc.bnc.ca)
The Prenuptial Agreement of Figaro (Teresa Muir, tmuir@broadway.gc.cuny.edu)
The Reconciliation of Figaro (sent by 74407.1723@compuserve.com)
The Remarriage of Figaro (Terry Kuny, txk@its.nlc.bnc.ca)
The Replique of the Autodidact (LN)
Salami: The story of a frustrated young woman who wants the
head of the man who has spurned her advances. Her attentive father tries
to appease her with a replica of the young man's head carved from luncheon
meat and served on a platter. Overly zealous guards inadvertently crush
her while performing the Heimlich maneuver. (Lars Rains, rains@mcmaster.ca)
"Does she do the 'Dance of the 7 Veals?'" (Rdobrick@aol.com,
Rdobrick@aol.com)
Sampson and the Dalai Lama (Laura Rottmann, LROTTMAN@pepsi.com)
La Traviata II: The opera opens with a repeat of
the ending of La Traviata, but seconds after the curtain falls with Pere
Germont and Alfredo standing at the bedside of a dying Violetta, it rises
again. A specialist summoned by Pere Germont has arrived just after what
we thought was her last sigh. Violetta miraculously recovers. Gratefully
she takes up with Pere Germont where she can get the understanding and
comfort she needs. Act two has Daddy G. and Violetta moving to Paris where
Alfredo drops in now and again to storm and sulk. Act three ends with Pere
Germont dying, broke but happy. (Thanks, in part, to a suggestion made
by a panelist on a Texaco Metropolitan Opera broadcast.)
Anyone want to propose a La Traviata III?"(Arnold Berger, ahberger@stratos.net)
The Trial of Figaro: Ostentacious sequel to the
Marriage of Figaro where Figaro, after a successful career as a professional
soccer player, divorces Susannah, then murders her and Cherobino in a jealous
rage. Don Bartolo represents the prosecution against Figaro in a lengthy
trial filled with lively testimony and scandal. (Chris Call, paccoast@sonic.net)
The Trial Separation of Figaro (sent by 74407.1723@compuserve.com)
La
La Triviata: Basically, the plot of Hepburn &
Tracy's film 'The Desk Set' turned into an opera. (Vince Kniffin, <sertoli21@hotmail.com>)
Xerxes in Boston
Xerxes in Chicago (both from thread headings on rec.music.opera - LN)
Compiler and partial author: Lyle Neff, lneff@indiana.edu